I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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