apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
farters have to be the big spoon...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize