you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
