I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
