He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There's always time for handjobs
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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