shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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