im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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