Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
