Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
how does that bad decision feel?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
