I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
