Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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