is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
