if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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