i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
