there's paper in my vomit.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
