dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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