i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
