Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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