Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
