This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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