The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
