even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
