just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
