I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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