Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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