He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
