Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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