Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
