i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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