I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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