mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
