you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
