I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize