dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
