this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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