addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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