I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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