Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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