There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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