to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
