the condom got lost in my hair
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
