accomplished twins. life is a go
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
