Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
