If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
