Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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