how can u be prego again
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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