all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
