Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
