i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
