You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
