I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
