You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
