so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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