im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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