Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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