I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize