I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
