so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hope mine doesn't look like that
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
