He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
