My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
