I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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