so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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