dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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