I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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