This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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