I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
