After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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