Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize